this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
