Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
can u get pink eye on your cock?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
