This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
