i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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