I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
