my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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