@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
