When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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