I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
