There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
