since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
