i just had sex bonerless
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
