wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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