Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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