i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
