We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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