I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Someone signed my nipple.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
