You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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