i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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