i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
