Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
