On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
