she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
