I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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