My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
