Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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