we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
