Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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