just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
