I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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