God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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