idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
is it fun? or sober?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
