I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize