maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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