I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
