you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
