thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
