I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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