he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
