let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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