You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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