thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
