i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
