No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
