Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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