He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
