My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
