your thong is hanging out like whoa
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
