# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
