I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
