my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
