Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
