you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Are we still banned from the library?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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