she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
