Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
