He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
