Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
