Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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