You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
