that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
