i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
