i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
