is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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