Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
