Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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