Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
