i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize